Hello, I've just come across bipolar babes website and saw all the amazing things people are talking about. I wanted to share how Bipolar has been apart of my life and I'm sure many others can relate.
My mother has Bipolar and was diagnosed in her early teens, because of the stigma surrounding it she turned to abusing drugs to self medicate. This became a large part of her life. Then I came, I spent my first 5 years with her, then her addiction and mental health issues took over and I was then with my father full time. I didn't see her for over ten years after that and she went and lived in Vancouver. I always wonder what was happening to her, why her mental illness was so powerful. As I grew up, I became very curious about how drugs and mental illness affected people, so I went to school and I am now working in the field. Eventually my mom moved back to Victoria and we began a relationship. I constantly battle with her about her drug use, not taking her medication and trying to explain the importance of taking them. The list goes on and on, but we still talk everyday, at times it is so overwhelming and frustrating to deal with her, but man does she have an amazing positive attitude and personality. I definitely wouldn't change a thing about her. As time went on, I myself started wondering if I had Bipolar, things in my life felt all over the place so I went to my doctor and told him my Mom has Bipolar and maybe I do too. Without any hesitation he put me and medication and that was that. I felt really confused, scared, wasn't offered any support just meds? The more i thought about the incounter with the Doctor I realized I had already self diagnosed myself and just told him what he wanted to hear and that i fit the mold of having Bipolar. I continued taking the meds which completely took my emotions away. I didn't really cry, I didn't really laugh either, I was completely mute to everything. I knew something was even more wrong now. After 4 months of taking them I went back to the doctor and said I wanted to stop taking them, I felt like he had just told me what I wanted to hear and that just because my mother has Bipolar doesn't mean I did too, even though I thought that. I slowly stopped taking the meds and i started feeling happy again, I started laughing, like really laughing and feeling emotions. Right then i knew I was never meant to be on those pills and infact I really didn't have Bipolar.
I finally realized just because my life was a little bumpy i jumped to self diagnosed myself and pretty much told the doctor to tell me I had Bipolar. Just because my mom had it I myself was so scared that must have it too. During all that I struggled with the stigma and didn't want to tell anyone, which made me feel so alone and scared. I'm actually very blessed I went through this because it opened my eyes to soooo many things. Stigma surrounding it, how easily it is to just be given medication and no support, just all the emotions of wondering is it real or not. And just how easy it is to be misdiagnosed. I know am able to talk to people about my experience and share thoughts about Bipolar.
Thanks Bipolar Babe for having this website and support!
Cheers everyone, thanks for reading 🙂