The stars below…

Having bipolar disorder I have floated so high as to literally see the stars below me in a breath taking gaze above the earth, and in the next heart beat seeing the devil dancing and laughing at me during a torrid and insane psychosis. It was as real as breathing air into my lungs and as natural as opening my eyes to wake in the morning. Bipolar has brought me to my knees losing all ability to prepare a meal for myself becoming disabled and confined to my bed for days at a time. Taking a shower has felt like an attempt to build a house on my own and I recall not being able to taste my food as ALL things were stale and bland. However, I feel that due to bipolar I laugh harder, feel deeper and at times my thoughts flow in perfect harmony allowing my creative juices to boil for poetry, art and writing. Although my hands shake and I depend on medication to function, I see bipolar as my cursed gift as it has brought me to become a relatable figure opening a space for others to heal and share their story. We hear the arguments that have almost become trite about mental illness being compared to diabetes or heart disease, but if we were to truly reflect, consider and accept this point of view, then our attitudes toward the mentally ill would certainly alter. Our brains are organic entities and our doctors operate in a biomedical model who tell us that it is merely a chemical dysfunction in the brain, hence the recommendation for prescription drugs. Just as a person with diabetes requires insulin, so do I require a mood stabilizer mixed with an anti-psychotic, but surely my prescription would be the only one that would raise questions and doubts. Babe Thoughts, Andrea 🙂