Partners

Your partner plays such a huge role in your support system and mine has been playing this role for about seven months now.  There have been times where he has been bewildered and confused about my illness and the side-effects that happen from my medication, but he has learned to be more empathetic toward my situation over time. 

I still get this type of feeling a least once a week.  It feels like I am super high on drugs or an acid flashback and the only solace I have is to crawl into the bed after taking two ativans to calm me down.  It feels as if I'm tumbling down a large mountain and my mind is swirling with a million thoughts per minute.  The only recluse is to cover my head in bed and wait till the feeling passess in a couple of hours.  I often rise from the feeling, still experiencing confusion and tiredness.I find it happens when I am feeling anything in an extreme form, for instance I hadn't heard from Sami for one night and I automatically thought he was being held for ransom in the Sudan.  Sound Crazy?

Sami is in Africa on vacation right now and many people ask how I am managing.  Well, I dd just get a messsage from him telling me that he wishes he was cuddling me.  He totally 'gets' me and knows how I manage my illness.  We were heading to the movies the other night and I started feeling that overwhelming acidy feeling and he just said 'no prob, let's go home and watch a movie babe!'  It is this type of easy-goingness that one must have if they are to have a partner with a mental health condition.  The issues that come up are often unique to this type of situation and there has to be a pure manifestation of utter acceptance.

How do I feel about my situation?  I'm lucky.  There are not too many guys out there like my Sami.  I consider myself needy, he just thinks it's cute.  He understands my low days and doesn't call me lazy, he jokes around a lot and makes me laugh.  On my highs he tells me to scale it back if I am able so I don't through myself in an acidy feeling.  All in all, real love is just total and utter acceptance of each other, and in having a mental health condition it is the only kind of partner one ought to have.

Thank you Sami for being there for me.  I love you! XO