Need to Spice it Up!

I have found that life can become so mundane due to having a mental illness.  Last weekend I went out dancing for the first time in a long time and as I anticipated going out I felt nervous.  I doubled up on my anti-psychotic medication which made me tired and a little disorientated.  I don’t drink alcohol so by the time we arrived at 11:00pm I felt like taking a nap.  I indeed did have a nap before heading out to the club, a 2 hour nap, which also made me feel tired and ready to head home by 1:00am.  I have to do all these things to ward off psychosis and it is exhausting.  Staying out that late actually severely affected my sleep pattern and I paid for it the next day.  It can be so disheartening observing everyone else partying and having a grand ol time, especially on New Years when I stayed in and did nothing.  I experience psychosis periodically and it seems more often than not, especially when I go out to loud and busy venues.  I try to keep up but it seems that no matter what I do the wave of paranoia and unreality sweeps over me and halts any good time that I might be having.  I have found myself hiding indoors quite often and feel like a drag to my boyfriend.  I recently asked on Face Book what I can do to spice up my life, some said ‘sky diving’ and others said scrapbooking.  One person commented to redecorate a room or take a trip around town and capture some interesting photography.  It can be frustrating to stay entertained when you feel so boring.  One thing that may help is hanging out with my friends that also have a mental illness.  They may be best to understand that I can’t stay out late nights and may be more inclined to stay in and watch a movie on a Saturday night or go bowling till 10pm.  Still, I suppose I must become more creative in life to shed these feelings of boredom.  I need to spice it up!  Stay tuned!