Ice Cream

It is so hard when you are on long term disability because I fear people will see me and think 'What is she doing outside the house?  Should she not be sick?  I had wondered if I had perhaps had a heart attack would it had been a different situation-conversation in my head?  "Oh Andrea, we hope the chest pains have ceased!  We are so happy you survived that heart attack.  Well you look great so we hope to see your healthy bouncy self  back at work soon!"  I know I should not form any expectations of everyone nor should I ever expect anyone to say 'I am so happy your brain is working better.'  🙂 As I feel uneasy and wondering if I could do anything to make the experience of seeing people from work better, just then Tony pulled up on his bike, clicking his annoying bell yelling 'ice cream, ice cream'!  It was so nice to see Ton from work as it had been a long time.  He gave me the biggest hug and said he missed me.  He joked that it was taking a long time to get me back to work.  I explained how a relapse is a serious predicament to have and it takes time to heal and to also get the right meds in place.  If people only knew how slow of a process it really is.  I kissed him on the cheek and thanked him for being there for me.  Did I learn anything from this? I decide how I feel about a situation.  Another can treat me in whatever manner they choose but at the end of the day it is I who chooses how I react and how I internalize it and I can choose not to.  I also learned it is great to have true friends like Tony who yell 'ice-cream' down the street.  How can I not smile?  🙂