Handling it with Ease

Life for Bipolar Babe has been quite interesting for the past month.  We are creating a promotional video for the society with Dave Wallace from Innovative Image Works and it has been quite the experience.  I peformed a presentation for some kids at Esquimalt High for the video shoot.  It felt slighlty unnatural as it has been such a long time but invigorating to get back into the swing of things.  It has been a whirlwind gathering 'actors' together, arranging times, speaking in front of a white screen and aligning all the details that come with a video production of this magnitude.  I have been occupying my time with designing brochures, contacting teachers and hiring a new program cooridinator.  It is so nice to have a helping hand and I am grateful to have Nancy on our team.

On the other side of this distraction I have been sufffering with bouts of worry but with good reason.  It seems I have been experiencing weakness in my right hand and the doctor tells me that the atrophy of the muscles in my hand may be due to nerve damage in my arm.  It is unnerving to think I have no pain in my arm and still the atrophy is apparent.  To top off the worry my thryoid is enlarged and my levels have been dropping close into to hyper-mode which would indicate hyper- thyroidism.  A culprit of lthium I have no doubt.  As many of you know I have been lowering my lithium dose with the guidance of my doctor, and I must admit that with all of these worries, with additional stressors that I have not mentioned today, I have been handling it with grace.  Although I feel the pressures and the worries which are warranted and intense, I have leanred to take things in stride and not jump to the worst case scenario. I feel I have found a new sense of strength and I feel clear and almost stronger than I did before.  I am learning what it means to take care of myself and sometimes that spells out shedding the negativity of others and realzing that the strength is inside of me and not something to be found outside of myself.  I do believe I have some help from above but it is still me that is surviving and doing so with ease.